Winter Games

With the Winter Olympics kicking off tonight, I harken back to the days when my brother was a lowly 2nd lieutenant communications officer at Charleston AFB and had nothing better to do than send me mindless e-mails (Remember e-mail?) from his office all day long in between watching his enlisted guys (who did all the work) plan for Y2K.

His role is a little different these days. Chad, I’m reproducing your original work without permission. Stay safe wherever you are flying tonight.

Sent:  Wednesday, February 11, 1998  7:48 AM

Subject:  Olympics

Hey, nice to see we finally won a freakin’ medal. It’s about time. Germany is just sticking it to everybody and we are just pathetic. We never were the greatest Winter Olympic power, but at least we usually ranked up among the top countries. Since the cold war days are over, we’re not pumping any money into training our athletes. And nice going to the Canadian gold medal snowboarder who tested positive for marijuana, as if people weren’t leery enough about snowboarding being in the Olympics, now this guy makes them all look like a bunch of hippie stoners. And what about the guy who gets wiped out in speed skating. It’s not his fault yet he gets screwed because he can’t continue with a dislocated shoulder. What if the guy was on pace to win the gold medal and got plowed like that? Hey, thanks for coming, sorry you had to waste every waking hour of your life up to this point training for the event, but that’s the breaks buddy. See you in about four years, hey let me give you a swift kick in the nuts before you go. Of course, I would be more sincere in my sympathy if he wouldn’t have been screaming like a little girl. I mean come on, be a man for the love of God. Thousands of people in the stands, and millions watching on TV, and he’s crying for his mommy. Have some pride man.     Chad

Sent:  Thursday, February 12, 1998  12:28 PM

Subject:  RE: Olympic coverage

Didn’t see it. I watched the women’s Super G already knowing the results. She ended up winning by 0.01 seconds. I was so mad, it would have been pretty exciting to watch if I hadn’t already known the results. Kudos once again to the media for taking the drama and climax out of a gold medal run by an American that may not happen again for another hundred years and condensing it into a one sentence blurb. I’m cutting all ties with sports news until this thing is over, so don’t tell me any results, I’m going media isolated.     Chad

Sent:  Tuesday, February 17, 1998  7:59 AM

Subject:  5 rings

Was it really necessary to have a half-hour profile about how that Oksana whoever thought she was Marilyn Monroe reincarnated. Get over yourself, you’re a friggin’ ice dancer. What is that all about? Canada and the US were already screwed anyway because of this block judging crap. Plus, three of the nine judges were from the former USSR (Russia, Lithuania, Ukraine) with zero North American judges. Might as well put Belarus, Kazakstan, Estonia, Latvia, Azerbaijan, and Tajikistan in there and get the clean sweep. To be fair, at the next Summer Olympics gymnastics competition, in addition to the US judge, we should have judges from American Samoa and Puerto Rico on the panel, hell might as well throw in Alaska, Hawaii (at least they’re separated from the mainland), and the Virgin Islands. Jeez, how bad did Eldridge choke by the way? Ridiculous. Later.     Chad

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2010


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