Divine Intervention?

Today has been a challenging day working for the Man.  Or I guess in my case also sort of being the Man.  Some days I wish I were only the boss of me and me alone.

I forgot my lunch this morning.  I was late coming in because I had to deal with Justin’s morning cereal emergency, among other things, so I skipped breakfast.  By 12:40 I was frustrated and hungry, but what I really desperately needed was caffeine in the form of diet Coke.

I had a meeting at 1:00 and my goal was to run to the cafeteria and be back in time to scarf something down at my desk.  I didn’t see anything good, with the exception of a Greek chicken club that looked really good.  But it’s Friday and since I was a blatant sinner last Friday after sharing a Chipotle burrito with Alex for dinner I decided I needed to get back on track.  I thought I could subsist on that diet Coke alone.  I went to the cooler.  They were out.

No problem, I have options.  I went down to the next floor where our building store is.  Back in 10 minutes, the sign said.  I didn’t have 10 minutes.

No problem, I’ll go to our breakroom.  I hiked back to my department and sought out the pop machine.  Not accepting coins, a sticky note said.

No problem, I have dollar bills.  I tried inserting a crisp George Washington.  Use exact change, the red electronic sign said.

No problem, I’ll run up the stairs to the breakroom on the floor above.  I inserted my dollar and change into the slot.  Out of selection, the flashing sign said.  I pushed the return change button.  Nothing.  Credit $0.00 the sign said.

No problem, I’ll go back downstairs and hoof it to the breakroom across the other side of our wing.  The machine would not accept my dollar.  I tried again.  Zhhuhh, zhooooh, it spit it back out.

“GOD!!!!  Are you kidding me???” I huffed to no one in particular, trying one more time to force feed the money into the machine.  The dollar slid in.  Credit $1.00, the sign said.  I put in 40 cents in change ($1.40 is highway robbery, but that’s another story.).  Credit $1.40, the sign said.  I pushed the diet Coke button.  Dispensing selection, the sign said.

I guess He was kidding.  Maybe I got some mercy for turning down that chicken sandwich.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2010


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