Today has been a challenging day working for the Man. Or I guess in my case also sort of being the Man. Some days I wish I were only the boss of me and me alone.
I forgot my lunch this morning. I was late coming in because I had to deal with Justin’s morning cereal emergency, among other things, so I skipped breakfast. By 12:40 I was frustrated and hungry, but what I really desperately needed was caffeine in the form of diet Coke.
I had a meeting at 1:00 and my goal was to run to the cafeteria and be back in time to scarf something down at my desk. I didn’t see anything good, with the exception of a Greek chicken club that looked really good. But it’s Friday and since I was a blatant sinner last Friday after sharing a Chipotle burrito with Alex for dinner I decided I needed to get back on track. I thought I could subsist on that diet Coke alone. I went to the cooler. They were out.
No problem, I have options. I went down to the next floor where our building store is. Back in 10 minutes, the sign said. I didn’t have 10 minutes.
No problem, I’ll go to our breakroom. I hiked back to my department and sought out the pop machine. Not accepting coins, a sticky note said.
No problem, I have dollar bills. I tried inserting a crisp George Washington. Use exact change, the red electronic sign said.
No problem, I’ll run up the stairs to the breakroom on the floor above. I inserted my dollar and change into the slot. Out of selection, the flashing sign said. I pushed the return change button. Nothing. Credit $0.00 the sign said.
No problem, I’ll go back downstairs and hoof it to the breakroom across the other side of our wing. The machine would not accept my dollar. I tried again. Zhhuhh, zhooooh, it spit it back out.
“GOD!!!! Are you kidding me???” I huffed to no one in particular, trying one more time to force feed the money into the machine. The dollar slid in. Credit $1.00, the sign said. I put in 40 cents in change ($1.40 is highway robbery, but that’s another story.). Credit $1.40, the sign said. I pushed the diet Coke button. Dispensing selection, the sign said.
I guess He was kidding. Maybe I got some mercy for turning down that chicken sandwich.
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2010