I have a son who can’t stop talking. Of course I love him to pieces, but there are days, usually when we’re alone together, that I just want a pod person to take over my body so my brain can disengage from the deluge of words that come out of his mouth. Is that wrong to say? This afternoon in the span of 10 minutes, he covered the following topics: an extensive dissertation on Minnetonka Little League rules vs. Chanhassen Little League rules, his plans to shake down a kid who has been mean to Cameron on the bus, a girl in his class who is “so annoying,” the Mets signs for bunt and steal, a good book he’s reading, Steven Hawking, why he hasn’t taken his A/R test yet this week, how he used to be friends with Hanna but now she’s “so bossy,” who has which “squishy toys” and how he traded a kangaroo (or maybe a lion) for a frog, how many lines he has to memorize for his class play and how he was chosen to play Captain Comma, why I don’t ever make chicken strips for dinner, something he and his friends Justin and Evan did at lunch last year, how his hair is cooler than most kids’ hair, how people are going to think Alex is a girl for liking princesses, something about a kickball game either today at recess or at some point in time at recess (was way tuned out by this time), and questioning why I needed to still work at 4:00.
My head was spinning by the time I distracted him with, “Hey isn’t this the Spongebob episode where he has to fire Mr. Krabs’ daughter?” It reminded me of something I jotted down a few years ago when David was six and Cameron was three.
I heard David and Cameron having the following conversation (if you can call it that) Saturday morning at 6:30am (after Barry had put in a DVD for them and we hoped to get maybe 10 minutes more sleep).
D: “Cammy, guess what?”
D: “On the original Pink Panther, Dreyfus was the Inspector like Inspector Jacques Clouseau, but on our movie, The Pink Panther Strikes Again he’s not the Inspector, because Jacques Clouseau is and he’s mad about it. There’s the original Pink Panther and The Return of the Pink Panther. Those are the old ones. The new one is called just The Pink Panther and it has Steve Martin in it. Steve Martin is really funny. He’s in a movie called Father of the Bride and Dad told me that he’s really funny in it and he tries to steal hot dog buns from the grocery store. You didn’t see that movie in the theaters. You weren’t born. I haven’t seen it either, it might be on TV sometime. The new Pink Panther is only in theaters right now, not on DVD. I want to get it on DVD but Mom said we’d have to ask for it for Christmas.”
D: “Cammy, shut up now! I’m trying to hear the movie.”
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2010