Flying Free

I happened across this article on a local TV news station website today.

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2010/11/23/flying-and-crying-tips-for-parents/

I took exception to this quote, “Surveys show majority of flyers would prefer the option of child-free flights, or families-only sections on planes, but no airlines are offering that right now.”

Really? A majority? If that’s true, the “majority” can go fuck itself. If they get child-free flights, then I want the following:

  • Bluetooth-wearing self-important asshole-free flights
  • Just bathed chest hair in Obsession for Men-free flights
  • Woman loudly and graphically discussing details of her pilondial cystectomy-free flights
  • Teenager watching Saw VI while sitting next to a 9 year-old-free flights
  • Take-out that smells like teriyaki eel and jerked monkey liver in oyster and garlic sauce-free flights
  • Last shower was 3 weeks ago at that hostel in Bucharest-free flights
  • Slam your refrigerator-box-sized “carry-on” into my head as you try to wedge it into the overhead compartment then lean your seat into my lap and lay your grody coat over the back of your seat so it’s in my face-free flights

That is all.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2010

Advertisements

One thought on “Flying Free

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s