Does someone want to tell me why I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred has been stuck in my head for the last half hour? It’s not the worst song that could be running through my brain, that would be anything by Bruce Hornsby, but it’s certainly up there.

I would rather pound a pair of chopsticks into my eardrums than have any of the following songs, in no particular order, take up residence in my skull.

MMMBop/Hanson – At one point there was one of those cards with sounds that had this tune embedded into it that made its way around between Chad, Kim, and me. Not sure where it surfaced last. Kim’s wedding, maybe? I think it began on my birthday a few years ago. That’s almost worse than getting a birthday card filled with mysterious white powder.

Tik Tok/Ke$ha – I honed some cat-like reflexes this summer because every time I heard this song come on the radio, which was way too often, I went for the scan button faster than a gunslinger could draw at the OK Corral.

We Built This City/Starship – You can’t build a city on rock and roll.

I’m Yours/Jason Mraz – I want to take that stupid hat he wears and shove it down his throat to make him stop singing.

Sugar, Sugar/The Archies – A big thanks to the ad agency who re-entered this awful 60’s song back into the vernacular by using it for an Equal sugar substitute jingle. “Sugar, (do do do do doo do) no it’s Equal.”

Coming To America/Neil Diamond – If this song is still in your head when he starts sing-talking My Country ‘Tis of Thee, you’d be better off moving to Cuba.

Amazing Grace – I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If this song gets played at my funeral, my ghost will haunt the responsible parties. Or I’ll send zombies after you.

My Heart Will Go On/Celine Dion – That song goes on and on and on.

Give a Little Bit/Supertramp – Or any song by Supertramp, really.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011


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