Wow, that was three and a half hours of my life I won’t get back. The red carpet was a snoozefest, James Franco looked like he’d rather sever his other arm off than be standing there on stage, none of the winners could seem to put together a coherent thought. We get it Gwyneth, you can sort of carry a tune. Now go away. Scarlett, maybe consider running a comb through your hair. Also let’s have more people introduce people who are going to introduce people. And why were half of the actresses wearing gowns about as edgy as mother-of-the bride dresses?

I was seriously starting to think maybe David was right to be outraged that The A-Team and Grown Ups weren’t up for any awards.

Just awful. Can I have some of what James was smoking now?

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011


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