What (I’m Begging You) Not To Wear

To say I’m looking forward to spring is like saying a caged lion looks forward to red meat. This winter has been long, snowy, and oppressive. I want nothing more than to stop wearing socks, see green grass, and take a walk where I don’t have to step over snow and mud.

Along with the change in seasons I am desperately awaiting another long overdue metamorphosis. Namely a shift in the wardrobes of my 11 year-old and my 8 year-old. I’m going to go all kinds of Joan Crawford NO WIRE HANGERS if I have to spend another month looking at David’s black Under Armour pants with the three holes in the knee, or his drab, gray sweatshirt that has frayed, stringy cuffs that he constantly messes with, or Cameron’s red basketball pants with the black stripes down the sides.

I keep trying to lose them in the laundry but somehow each article seems to get washed day after day. David wears that stupid sweatshirt every. single. day. Cameron wears the red pants at least four times a week. With those it isn’t necessarily the frequency that drives me crazy, it’s the pairings he comes up with. Red is a difficult color to coordinate with. An orange tee shirt? Really doesn’t work. A red, plaid button-down shirt? Uh, no. A turquoise skateboard shirt? Only if it comes with a pair of sunglasses. Yet these are items that Cameron has worn with his beloved pants this week. I want to put a disclaimer on him saying that I have nothing to do with his choice of outfits.

Of course I know by June I’ll be sick of seeing the same pairs of shorts over and over and over again. For the time being, however, anything different will be a welcome sight.

What I want to know is who are these kids in the Gap and Children’s Place ads who are wearing funky, matched, hip clothes with only strategically placed “cool” rips and worn out patches? Does your grade school boy dress like that? Because I don’t think that kind of thing exists in the wild.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011

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138 thoughts on “What (I’m Begging You) Not To Wear

  1. My cousin, who is in grade school, definitely dresses like this lol. Also, I’m right along with you “I want nothing more than to stop wearing socks, see green grass, and take a walk where I don’t have to step over snow and mud.” Yeeeeesss!

  2. My kids are 22 months and 7 months so so far, I can still force them into whatever I want them to wear. Of course, my wife would argue that they might as well have dressed themselves some days. Anyway, funny post! Congrats on the FP too.

    • Thanks, I was so excited and surprised to log in and see this today! I have two younger boys also, they’re 5 and 3, and for the most part I have a degree of control over what they wear. I hope they don’t learn from their brothers! LOL, and yes, I’ve seen some combinations my husband has come up with and it’s debatable whether that would be any better than leaving it to them!

      Thanks for reading!

  3. Hahaha! I can so relate: My formerly stylish daughter’s “uniform” of late is an oversized sweatshirt with whole-y jeans, and my son, Under Armour and athletic pants. Ugh.

    Good to hear I’m not alone…

    😉

  4. Ohhhh I went through stages like this. I’ve worn sweatshirts repeatedly. you know, every. single. day. for weeks. Sometimes coats. Sometimes a scarf. Currently my younger siblings are doing the same, and it usually happens around 9-13 years of age. I’m no psychiatrist, but it happens. Just bear with it, and it’ll pass. When summer comes, feel free to throw those clothes away at the first chance you get.
    I’m not sure if kids do this because it’s if insecurities, or if they’re just cold all the time.
    But it will pass 🙂

  5. I don’t think that kind of thing exists in the wild, either. All these happy kids, smiling, fashionable- and they probably dress themselves without tantrums or coaxing. They probably don’t make their parents late for anything. No, I don’t think that exists. Those ads are lies. It’s all part of the Matrix.

    Yes, changing seasons can do wonders for one’s mood. We always need a change of pace to recharge the batteries.

  6. My son and I are a walking ‘what not to wear’ advertisement, down to our socks and sandals. (My son will wear socks with his flop flops, too. Me? I draw the line there.) And, I think the Gap Kids – like the ROUSs in Princess Bride – don’t exist.

  7. Kids love to express themselves and they go through phases. My children are 7 and 5 and my 7 year old is pretty fashion conscious. If I pick out his clothes for school, he will change to something else saying my choice of clothing doesn’t match (eventhough it does).

    • Yeah, my husband isn’t exactly a style icon, unless Minnesota Twins tee shirts are showing up on the catwalk. But I guess there are other things that are more important!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  8. Jennifer, you’ve touched a nerve. It’s not just boys. I’m fairly certain my daughter has worn the same green cardigan sweater EVERY DAY for the last 3 years. It’s like a security blanket, but it is now threadbare and so pathetic I can’t even sew up the holes anymore. Thanks for letting me vent – I’m not allowed to talk about my kids on my own blog (shhh).

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    • Thank you so much!

      Lol, my oldest HATES me talking about him on Facebook. He doesn’t so much know that my blog exists, though. I’m guessing if he finds out he’s getting a little publicity he’ll change his tune.

      Good luck with that cardigan. Hope it doesn’t accidentally get thrown into the firepit this summer or something.

  9. As far as I can tell it doesn’t get better in high school for boys- my son has worn the same Green Bay Packers sweat shirt EVERY DAY that the tempwerature was below 65F this year. Ugh!

  10. Have you tried just stop washing them every day? My stepdaughter went berzerk on me when she was 6 one day before school. While she was in the shower, I put out a pair of jean shorts and a yellow shirt. She threw a fit that it didn’t match. I mean, she was absolutely NOT going to wear them because they didn’t match. I kept trying to explain that jeans match almost anything and that she could wear them. I would never send her to school mismatched. When I was ready to throw up my hands, I finally asked her to choose what she wanted to wear with them. She pulled out a yellow pair of shorts that we bought with the shirt and said it was the only thing she could wear with the shirt. She thought if you bought things as an outfit, that you HAD to wear them together. She turned 14 today & thankfully no longer thinks that way. 🙂

    • Oh the thing is if we didn’t wash them every few days, they’d just wear them dirty. I think what’s going to happen is that they are going to meet with some unfortunate accident.

      That’s a cute story about your daughter. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Hahaha! My son is only 3, but he always wants to pick out his own clothes. He matches as well as your son does. Luckily at this age I can still tell him “No, lets wear this instead” but I’m not looking forward to the day when he no longer listens to me and wears his sweats with a plaid shirt. 🙂

    • Yes the sweats and the dress shirts I’m finding are a combo that my kids are inexplicably drawn to. It just looks weird.

      Good luck with your guy! Fight the power!

  12. I had a shirt I *loved* when I was 17. A tiny, tight pale blue tank top. Pretty sure the P’s didn’t like it, but I loved it. One day, after laundry, I couldn’t find it. I searched my gym locker, my regular locker, my cheerleading bag, my laundry, under my bed, my brother’s room, the laundry room–it was nowhere. I asked friends if I loaned it to them, and nothing. I found it 2 months later. In the rag bin. Mom had “accidentally” bleached it, and then, since it was ruined, had cut it in 1/4’s and buried it in the rag bin. I started doing my own laundry that week LOL.

  13. Take it from these kids’ grandpa, it saves on a few loads of wash, especially when the wife works part-time during tax season and hubby does the laundry. Talk about tired of the same old-same old, I don’t need to change leisure pants until they stand up by themselves. The long bad winter has postponed the morning golfing and the use of the same outfit to the course each day. Oh well, (sigh) Spring is just around the corner, but, it’s a mightly long block! ♥ ♥ ♥

    • You had a pair of maroon nylon pants that Kim, Chad and I wanted to destroy. They were remarkably similar to the pair of maroon wind pants with a gigantic rip in the knee that I finally got David to ditch last week.

  14. Please allow me to butt in and ride my pedantic hobby horse. A plaid is a length of woven wool cloth about 4 metres by 2 metres. It is worn by folding it lengthways into a quarter of its width, and wrapping it around the upper body and shoulders as fits your size. Then, at nightfall, you use it as a blanket to wrap up and sleep in the heather. What you refer to (in the way of our dear cousins in North America) is the pattern known as the tartan. However, if the pattern is not a genuine clan tartan then we have to fall back upon calling it a check. Excellent blog. Super scene on the Header Image. Splendid family.

  15. I’m not a fashion expert, but I can pretty much guarantee that before you know it, ripped jeans will be out of fashion again. The only question is when. (Oh yeah, and how much worse will the next one be?)

  16. Heh, yeah, our four year old son dresses himself, and though he’s got a dresser full of clothes it’s usually the same two or three pairs of pants and the same two or three shirts that he wants to wear.

    I cringe sometimes when we go to church and he’s wearing all camouflage – at least for the most part he matches.

    It’s going to be interesting as the warmer weather approaches because he doesn’t like wearing shorts or tee-shirts.

  17. I don’t have kids, but this still made me laugh. Perhaps because my husband is a bit guilty of this. He, too, has a certain sweatshirt that has seen way too many wears since he purchased it three years ago. What is it with men and sweatshirts?! Clearly they just never grow up.

    Great post!

    Coffee & Inspiration

  18. I think our kids go through this stage as payback to us; I know my Mom didn’t love my off the shoulder day glow “Flashdance” top, high-top sneaks and stonewashed jeans, but I thought I was rocking it. How wrong I was! Cheers! MJ

  19. I’ve got one word for you…uniforms. All it takes is a group of concerned parents and, presto chango, they’re still wearing the same thing every day, but it looks nice and neat.

    Loosen the rep tie and add a sullen scowl, and they’ve got the Gap look going on as well.

    (ps. Congrats on the FP – well deserved!)

  20. Congratulations on being on Freshly Pressed. I loved what you had to say. Everyday I have a fight with my 3 yr old daughter and a 7 yr old son on what they are going to wear. It is still cold and they beg to wear shorts and half sleeves. Mom, is it summer yet? Is it going to be warm tomorrow so i can wear half sleeves? Crazy crazy crazy….your blog is refreshing…keep it going…I am subscribed 🙂

  21. I decided to take control of my brothers wardrobes when I hit 18, (They would have been 6 and 4) Mama & I gutted all the crud and got them a few more plain pieces, knowing that the 4 year old would get the hand-me-downs, and now they only get clothes from me at birthdays and christmas. No toys, no games, just clothes. And clothes that they need as requested by mother.

    Last week when I saw my now 12 year old brother wearing one of the tees that I bought him , I mentioned it, and he said that his friends ALWAYS comment on how cool his t shirts/jumpers are.
    He was so proud of that compliment, and he has requested more ‘clothes that look awesome’.

    WIN!

  22. I’ve taken the clashing right out of the equation. My son has various shades and styles of jeans and enough t-shirts he deems “cool” enough that he doesn’t mind swapping them out. I’ve only ever needed to hide one, about two years ago, which was a Wolverine t-shirt that spoke and made Wolverine claw sounds every time he pushed the button.

    Of course, the button got pushed every 5 seconds. How come batteries don’t wear out on things you want to die, but nothing you want them to play with holds a charge – particularly on long trips?

  23. Ha! Who are those Gap kids — they’re models! My kids insist on dressing themselves and embarrassing me, for sure! My 11 yr old son won’t wear anything but a tshirt and Nike shorts; he thinks a collared shirt is black-tie. My 9 yr old daughter likes as much color & pattern as possible on top & bottom every day. Sheesh.

  24. Great post! My son is 5, going on 6, and we have these kinds of battles all the time. First, nearly every pair of jeans has acquired a hole during the winter months, and the combos he comes up with to go with his bright blue basketball pants are quite the sight!
    The worst is my almost 4 yr old daughter, she is that much more stubborn, and “creative” – she reminds me of that beloved “Punky Brewster” from 1980’s TV fame!
    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  25. No kids of my own, but I do remember being one of those ‘wear the same thing all the time’ kids. My mom didn’t really care as long as I was adequately covered. Her exact words on the subject of my clothes/hair were, “Do what you want. I’m not the one that has to walk around looking like that.” My aunt, on the other hand, hated half of what I wore as a preteen. I remember one red t-shirt in specific. It was huge, baggy, and went halfway to my knees. Thusly, it was perfect over leggings, with one of those little plastic t-shirt tie thingies on the side, over jeans, over shorts, over a bathing suit, whatever. I wore that shirt until it had holes too big to sew up and was more patches than shirt, and every single time she saw me in it my aunt pitched a fit. It was ugly. It was baggy. It was old and shapeless. I looked sloppy and unfeminine. Blondes should wear pink, not all that black and red. Blah, blah, blah. Bless her heart; she meant well, but I was (and still am) stubborn. Plus, I was the only girl with breasts in 4th grade, and big baggy shirts made me feel safely hidden. There was no way I was wearing the cute, frilly, girlie tops she always bought for me if that t-shirt was clean!

  26. Haha. Great post. Actually I like seeing all the crazy outfits kids put on. It’s just their creativity or non-creativity and comfort zone. What I really hate is the parents that put together some first graders outfits together all matching and perfect with accessories because you know that kid didn’t put it together. I just look at it as each kid is unique and it’s amusing….in a good way. I can’t wait for summer too.

  27. You have my sympathies, but please do not go the passive-aggressive route of “losing” things in the laundry. My mom routinely pulled that with me, and it still irks me to remember it.

  28. My husband feels the same way about the weather. He’s a truck driver and while checking the weather reports for the western part of our state he said, “I thought we were finished with this *!#! snow.”
    Fortunately my daughter has good taste so I don’t object to her choice of clothes.

  29. I loved buying my daughter clothes. I bought all the cutest little girl clothes I could find and dressed her like a doll. It just delighted me to see her sweet self nicely decked out.

    As she got older, she didn’t appreciate it…she had her own style. At age 4 or 5, she changed her clothes 2-3 times a day, mixing up the clothes I bought her, plaids with stripes, ruffles with jeans, pink with red. I let her as a way to encourage her creativity.

    Oddly enough, she looked not bad in her combinations. Once she got old enough she never let me buy her a single piece of clothing. *sigh*

  30. Wow, you just brought up some seriously detrimentally deeply repressed memories of my grown son and what he used to wear! He was famous for the most hideous color coordination humanly possible and I made sure I did voice to all and sundry that I had nothing to do with it as my good taste was on the line. My other son and I would always be dressed quite appropriately and might I say quite nicely even if I have to say so myself!
    Don’t worry, hopefully, he will outgrow it. He has now, and is quite the fashion plate with hats ( beanies) and shoes in every color to go with all his outfits. Go figure…good luck! And Congrats on FP’d!

  31. My daughter – 5 (almost 6) doesn’t wear the same thing everyday, but she does come up with some wild combinations. She has a wonderful array of clothes, thanks to her grandmother, and puts them together in all sorts of creative ways. For the most part, I try to let her – she’ll be worried about fashion soon enough anyway, why not let her experiment while she’s still young enough to enjoy it. (Besides, I have some awesome “Prom Night” blackmail photos that DON’T feature the bath…)

  32. 1) I’m with you. So totally *over*winter I could scream. At least we can get out the damn driveway on garbage day with the snow banks gone now. 😉
    2) It’s starting to happen with my 5 year old daughter, too. She wants to wear the same dress every day. It used to be cute, but now I think it’s ugly. We all need a change of scenery!
    Congrats on being featured today!

    • Thanks Kristi! Hope Anna gets over her dress soon…it’s only a matter of time.

      Hope to see you out and about soon! We’re going stir crazy. They were all out of the house tonight, which was wonderful!

  33. I enjoyed reading your post. It’s quite humorous. There were a few things that my mom wanted to get rid of when I was younger, actually some of them I continued to wear into early adulthood. One, an Auburn jersey, that I used to sleep in very often, I still have. Although, I haven’t worn it in a very long time. I was actually contemplating getting rid of it not to long ago but then thought maybe I should keep it. I guess I’ll see.

    Thanks for such an awesome post for us readers, giving us a little humor in our day:-)

    • Thanks for your kind comments! Glad I could be of service!

      Once you have something for that long, I can see why it would be tough to part with it. Good luck with that jersey!

  34. I agree with you that full spring can’t get here soon enough.

    Here’s what puzzles me. When I was growing up we had what my parents called “rules”, and the rules included wearing a new set of clothes every day. We didn’t question it, because it was a rule, enforced by the parents, and those types of rules were taken seriously by all involved.

    Are there no rules in your house? I ask because I see posts about like this about children a lot and wonder where all the rules went. Were they banned in the 80’s? I’ve like to know!

    • Apparently, your parents didn’t also have rules about how to treat people, because there is no excuse for you suggesting that there are no rules in her house just because her kids like to wear certain clothes again and again. Nowhere in her post does she suggest that her kids are violating any rule of hers by their choice of clothes.

      Here is what puzzles me, julie1. When I was growing up we had something my parents called “tact”, and tact dictated that if you see something in passing that you think is odd about a certain person or how a certain family acts then you leave it alone unless someone is getting hurt. Suggesting that someone is a bad/too lenient/un-disciplining parent for absolutely no reason would have been considered rude by my parents and would have broken our golden rule. Why do I reply to your comment, then? Because the second rule in our house was to always stand up for someone when they are being picked on, which is exactly what was happening here.

      Was it really necessary for you to comment on this post?

      • Didn’t think I was picking on her, just asking a question. Sorry you were so offended. Obviously “windwein” wasn’t too upset, or I’d guess she would have replied.

        It was really meant to be a query, and an honest one, because I suppose things have changed a lot since I was growing up. In my home we wouldn’t have been allowed to wear the same clothes day after day, nor did any of my friends do this, so I was curious as to what has changed and why children are able to make such decisions these days.

        “Are there no rules in your house?” was meant in a kind of overview/rhetorical way, because I have seen so many similar posts on blogs regarding children, and it’s very intriguing to me that people don’t seem to have similar rules to my parents and my friends’ parents when I was growing up. It was also meant to be funny, although I realize tone is hard to discern in writing.

        I commented because the post brought up questions that I thought were valid and would have liked to have answered. I’m really not familiar with how people raise their children currently, and thought it would be interesting to know what the trend is these days regarding rules. I never inferred she was a bad parent. I simply wondered why the children are allowed to wear the same outfits every day and since it is so very different from how I was raised, I thought it would be interesting to know why it’s different now.

        Why did YOU reply to me? Unless you know “windwein” personally and made that clear, what my parents and my family would have called you is a busybody who had no business butting in, considered hugely rude when I was growing up. I bet “windwein” could fight her own battles, had there been one, although I wasn’t picking a fight, simply asking for some clarification about how people are raising children and using rules in their homes these days.

        It’s funny you seem to envision yourself riding in on a white horse, anonymously defending someone in a random WordPress post. There are much bigger issue out there you could be pouring your energy into. Lighten up.

    • There was no reply button on your response to me so I’ll reply here. I have 3 options: I can drop it, I can continue with my irritation or, I can take you at your word that you do not know what was offensive about your post. I’m going to go with the third option because you seem like you really don’t know. If you just wanted to vent about the state of kids today and saw the opportunity to do it without realizing it was directed at windwein then feel free to quit reading. If you actually do want to know then you’ll want to read this reply.

      Lots of things have changed since we were kids. I am going out on a limb and assuming you do not have children. Our children today cannot say they are going out to play and will be back in a few hours. It is not the same world. We, as parents, pick our battles and make our rules differently. Every family is different, of course, but most of my friends subscribe to the following parenting plan: If our kids get good grades, are respectful to others, are not doing drugs or having sex, eat reasonably well and still want to play a board game with us and tell us about their day then we’re doing pretty good. We don’t much care if they want to pick out their own bizarre clothes or have weird hairdos.

      One thing that has not changed since we were kids and never will is the extreme mommy-guilt that is poured on us by random bystanders. My mother told me I would not understand until I had kids and I thought it was a passing comment, but, wow, it is huge! Am I feeding him to much/not enough? Am I picking him up too much/not enough? And the biggest one is Am I too strict/too lenient? Everyone has an opinion about other people’s parenting and they are all-too-willing to share it. To say ‘are there no rules in your house?’ is offensive and always will be, especially since there was nothing in the original post about rules. It implies that a) there are no rules in the house, and b) there really ought to be. To come back later and say it was rhetorical or was a joke just does not work.

      I know it is not fair to say that you don’t understand until you have kids because that shuts the door on any meaningful conversation. It doesn’t really explain anything so I tried to come up with an analogy for you to express what it feels like to be on the receiving end of it. Let’s say you are an overweight person (maybe just 10 pounds or so) and you are having a hard time buttoning your jacket. The person next to you says “When I was a kid my parents made me stop at one dessert.” Huh? Where did dessert come from? Why would she say sucha thing? That would be offensive. Then they follow that up with “Have you no pride?” Later they try to come back and say the pride thing was only a joke, that they didn’t mean it ‘that way’, but they actually have a valid question about why people overeat today when they were raised so differently. The implication was clear; a) You have no pride, and b) you really ought to. Without saying ‘you’re fat’ they are very clearly saying ‘you’re fat.’

      Although in theory I was defeding windwein, I was actually defending (with or without a white horse) all mothers (and fathers) who are second-guessed by strangers. I can take you at your word that you did not realize how you sounded, that the tone gets lost in writing. I decided to reply to your reply so you might think twice not about asking people about their parenting, but about how you ask. When the little old lady at the grocery store suggests that I shouldn’t feed my kid chips because she’ll get fat, I just smile and say ‘to each his own’ when I really want to say ‘I’ll bet your kids are in therapy.’ I keep my mouth shut because, as weird as it sounds, I know that old lady means well and doesn’t realize how she sounds. I commented on your original post because I got no sense that you meant well and I’m replying to your reply because you said you really do want to know the answer to your question. As for busybody comment, I’ll take it. Back when I was growing up, the busybody was the one who, when the neighbor was beating up his wife, actually butted in where she had no business and called the police. That was considered hugely rude back then. We can home that times have changed.

  35. My daughter is too young to control what she wears. But my husband will only wear 2-3 specific pairs of jeans or only the same style of shirt in various colors. Yes he matches but if he could have the same outfit in his closet for everyday of the week kind like how Ronald McDonald does but clown suits, he would be perfectly happy. I guess he never grew up!

  36. My son is almost 20 and is just now getting the full understanding that 1. If we have worn it, it is dirty and it must go in the wash, and 2. We only wear a pair of boxers for one day at a time, and 3. We put on a fresh pair of boxers every day. Boys are like that. I don’t think they can smell their own funk. They will wear the same clothing over and over even when it can stand up by itself unless you confiscate it while they are showering. I suggest a tag team effort- Dad ensures the boys actually shower, while Mom confiscates the dirty clothes. Don’t let them get away with the French bath- i.e. spraying their entire body several times with a can of AXE body spray in lieu of a shower. My son tried that one too to avoid bathing and/or changing clothes. The good news is that they will be much more into clean clothing and changing clothing daily when they become interested in girls. Good luck on that!

    • HA! French bath…love it! My 8 year-old has to be force marched into the shower when we decide he’s too vile to be out in public. My 11 year-old would stay in the shower every morning and every night for an hour if we’d let him. It’s all about extremes.

      Clean boxers are not optional. Agreed.

      Thanks for your comment!

  37. When they get a little older, they’ll be complaining about what YOU wear along the same lines. At least you have that to look forward to 🙂

    Congrats on your sojourn with FP – definitely a fun ride!

  38. My daughter had a little blue and white dress when she was about 5 or 6. Wore it every. single. day. With cowboy boots. I still have that dress somewhere. She’s 25 now, and dresses much better. But one day, when she has a daughter, I’m bringin out the dress! Hopefully, her little girl will love it. And wear it every. single. day.

    Good post!

    • Funny! One of my son’s friends has a blue and white striped shirt that’s been a staple since this summer. I swear he’s in it every time I see him. When I tell his mom that I’m going to burn Cameron’s red pants she says no way is she trashing the blue shirt. She’s going to break it out at his graduation party!

  39. I’m trying to get my 7-year-old to quit pulling his pants up to is nipples (grandma’s influence according to my husband). I had high hopes for him; natural cool combined with just the right wardrobe. Instead I find myself pleading, “I am seeing the wrong end of your butt crack again, could you at least pull ’em down to the top of your boxers . . . I’ll give you a cookie.”

  40. I’m just as excited for spring as you are. In NW Ohio, winter is crap. Agh! However, I’m not as excited for summer, because I hate getting tan. Not a good look for me.

    My younger brother will wear the same outfit for an entire weekend and inexplicably ends up ripping his jeans right up the side of the leg. It drove me insane, but eventually you get used to it- which I despise. My mother buys him all sorts of different items, but he wears the same jeans and striped shirt practically every day. I’m surprised the school hasn’t called, concerned that he seems to have no clothes. And my OCD-stricken Grandmother will make him roll his jean pantlegs up and it looks so…stupid. Ugh!

  41. Haha, I don’t think those kids exist in the wild either. At least not at my house, where my brother Dodge wears camo pants and a ballcap every single day, and the one pair of pants has not a hole but a gash from the knee to almost the ankle. The other brother, Poncho, is the youngest and very skinny. He pulls his pants up to his chest and wears tall socks with shorty shorts. And those are when we’re lucky and he didn’t paint a red “scar” over one eye or something.

  42. My six-year-old has holes in nearly every pair of pants. He has ripped up microfiber sweat pants and pants with re-enforced knees. A pair of tough-skins are about worn through. I would hide them but then he could only wear shorts.
    Spring cannot come too soon for me.

  43. Looool….i guess boys will be boys even when they will grow up…I’ve seen cases where the boyfriend would wear the same raggedy tshirts day after day after day. I think is part of their malehood gene :)) you don’t have to understand it, just embrace it. good luck and I wish you lots of patience cause is not easy raising 2 young boys.

    your writing is witty and sassy..love it!!! and keep up the good work

    • You flatter me! Thanks so much! Yes, there is definitely a male gene predisposed to hanging onto bad clothes for dear life. My husband has this terry cloth-like (seriously, yuck) MN Vikings sweatshirt that his mother gave him like 15 years ago that he still wears. I despise that thing. I guess this is all genetic.

  44. Are they on drugs? How are they doing in school? Do they have good friends? You’re lucky that’s the only problem you’re having. It’s a non-issue in my opinion. Better they wear the same clothing and stay happy than have the other things happening. Consider yourself lucky.

  45. HAH! You’re hysterical and I can totally relate. My 2 girls are 11 and 7. The younger one wore the same “yoga suit” – one blk, one gray at least twice each week, until they were so shrunken and grease stained I hid them. I couldn’t take it any more!! Fortunately she has a short attention span and moved on to the next pair of soft pants she found. I’ve given up trying to encourage outfits I like – they both have their own sense of style, and as long as they’re okay weather-wise and not leaning towards *hooch* I just roll with it.

    PS: So with you on WANTING SPRING. We live in Maine and I am counting the months till it gets warm here. Whenever that is.

    PPS: Congrats on FP – awesome!

    • Yep, good attitude. No sense fighting it, you just hope they move on soon!

      I’ve always been intrigued by Maine. I know the winters are harsh, but it seems like a charming place.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  46. I don’t buy my 8-year old daughter clothes. She shops with Grandma. They buy trendy stuff then she comes home and mismatches everything. Her coaches call her Punky. She gets onto the computer in the morning and checks the weather report then picks out clothes that are warm enough (cool enough, dry enough, etc) and mismatches them up. More power to her! I envy her willingness to wear what she thinks looks good or fun, and her willingness to go out on a limb if she feels like it. My only rules are that she be adequately covered and that there are no words on her butt. Fortunately, there are no rules about wearing something different every day – she does that on her own.

  47. It’s a weird line between “Oh my god I can’t take these horrible outfits anymore” and “My kid should be able to express theirselves”
    My parents took the second approach, and then I dyed my hair blue and they rethought their beliefs.

  48. Help me, Oprah! I can’t wait to see the end of my son’s winter coat. Army green, with black and white stripes down the arm. That darn white stripe, refuses to come clean now. I am so totally, feelin’ you on this post!

  49. I will admit to dressing my youngest two boys in Children’s Place.
    All four in Osh Kosh, Carter’s, Old Navy & The Gap.
    No tears or rips because that was against the school’s dress code.
    But all my boys wore polo shirts and jeans – perhaps not the pastels that you see in the Children’s Place ads….darn don’t they look cute though – but they’d be a prime target on the playground -anti bullying policy or not.
    http://elissestuart.wordpress.com

  50. I work as a nanny, and one of my kids is going through a massive ‘train’ phase. When I tell him to go and pick his clothes for the day, he reliably comes back each time with the same ratty, old singlet with a picture of a train in the middle. God forbid if it’s in the laundry! Not a happy day when that happens!

  51. I think you’re right, ‘they’ don’t exist in the wild. Gotta tell you, I laughed – yes, out loud when I read, “that stupid sweatshirt every. single. day.” Thanks!

  52. When my kids were little, I had visions of them wearing the nice jeans with a nice shirt. Casual but neat, know what I mean?

    Boy was I dilusional!

    My oldest wore nothing but sweat pants with t shirts. Drove me nuts!

    The younger one wasn’t so bad. He was into jeans, the only problem I had was the knees. Why do little kids walk on their knees?

    Which brings me to today. I was just thinking to myself as I was getting an outfit together that I can’t wait to get my warm weather clothes out because I’m sick to death of my winter clothes. I want to wear something different. It’s been a long winter!

  53. my son, as a 6 year old, wore his snow boots from the previous winter for the better half of that summer (WITH his shorts). and LAST early spring found us both trudging to the store in pj’s and robes. thankfully (i think) my son wears uniforms to school so the things he wears over and over are at least by the dress code…. good luck and happy spring shopping!!

  54. My sister used to choose very choice outfits, including a hanging basket on her head and odd wellies. My parents gave us free reign to choose our own clothes. Most of the time nothing matched or looked nice but we had fun wearing them. It’s ironic that my sister is now a fashionista with a perfect eye for all that matches. I say, let the kids have fun and just chuck stuff out when it gets ripped or frayed. They do look happy which is the most important thing :)!

  55. I hear ya. It’s been a long winter up north. I always hated having to wear 3 layers of clothing; it always made me feel claustrophobic. My solution…..moved to south Florida 6 years ago. Not to rub it in, but we’ve had an AMAZING winter this year.

  56. When I was small, my sister and I were dressed in tailored outfits that were exactly the same. After I grew older, I hated it when my little sister kept making the choices I made. Fortunately, we went to schools that stipulated we have uniforms.

  57. Look, you have to understand that we guys like holes in our clothes. ESPECIALLY when you’re a kid. It’s like marking your territory in the animal kingdom. Holes say: this is my shirt, it has holes in it because I’m a tough guy, it’s time for a new one, but no I don’t think so, nobody can make me, you got something to say about it?, oh I see you have holes in your shirt too, OK we’re cool, we don’t have to fight, we’re bros.

    • Thanks, James, for breaking it down. No one has ever come right out and told me the reason guys are like this. I had no idea it was so primal. But you have to realize, women will never understand this and will continually try to modify your behavior. It’s like the Middle East, it’s been going on for years and will probably never be resolved.

      Thanks for your comment, you’re funny! And thanks for stopping by!

  58. This post was a wonderful way to start the day!
    Thank you 🙂

    My daughter is a young teen now but I recall her doing the same exact thing. In our case, however, she knew I was out to get her favorite shirts/shorts/whatever so she would hide them at times.

    Added to the insult that the item eluded me yet again, was the injury that the darn thing missed washing day.

    There is light at the end of the tunnel, though. They go from this straight to having an opinion about what they are going to wear and where they want it bought from…

    Good luck to you and thanks again for starting my day off with a smile 🙂

    • Thanks so much for the wonderful comment! I know, I’m waiting for the day when it will be only acceptable to wear Abercrombie or whatever the latest trend is. It’s always something!

  59. True story – from the age of 5 to 6, my son would only wear black. He had became obsessed with Batman and thought, I think, that by dressing all in black he was always kind of in costume. So he wore the only two black things he owned – alllllll the time – a black turtleneck and black jeans, oh and black sneakers. He looked like a little depressed Steve Jobs. Anyway, I finally gave in – and on my way home from work popped into the Gap, bought three pairs of black jeans and several coordinating, I mean ‘black’ tops – even socks. I was going to be wayyy supportive. Got home, and hand to God, there he was on the couch in light blue jeans and a white top. I said in my Mom voice ‘what gives?’ – he looked at me like I was nuts and said in his 6 year old voice ‘oh, ya black… no thanks… superman doesn’t wear black’.

    Congrats on FP!

  60. It is not stupid to wear such clothes – but it is stupid to write such stupid stuff. If you have nothing more to say then please: just shut up and stop spamming the internet with your moron stupidity.

    Not the sweatshirt is stupid – you just see your own stupidity in that sweatshirt and all the morons agress with you – you perverted losers.

    Just LOL for that nonsense .. yet another dumb weblog with other dumb content the world doesnt need, with other dumb morons who agree with the moron writer – really nothing more.

    What a fucked up bullshit these days on the internet – now all the morons are online and have “something to say” – something morons naturally say all the time: their stupidity, now online, like internet spam, daily bullshit packed in a modern internet trend.

    Morons: just shut up. Keep quiet. Go offline, and get just a life.

    • Thanks for reading! I’m glad you took the time to read my inane content. It sounds like your contributions to the internet are very intellectual and meaningful. I look forward to reading more.

  61. You just wrote that crap to fill your stupid weblog with other stupid content and to get some primitive attention from the morons on the internet with their primitive online life.

    It is just sick and perverted when a mother is writing online openly that their children look stupid – people like you just suck, that is all.

    Please just shut up and keep your stupidity for yourself – you dumb loser, i hope your children will never become stupid like you, you dumb bottle – everyone has an other opppinion about what their wear and what not but to open such a nonsense loser duscussion here online … you are crazy to get attention through such a crap.

    YOU ARE DUMB and ALL other who agree with you too.

    LOL. What primitive online life. What primitive post. What a primitive kind of life … online bullshit .. nothing more …

  62. “Because someone was going to have to set a bad example.”

    Yes, and that case, the bad example is: YOU.

    Period. The End.

  63. Congrats on the FP! We have to laugh at the wacky things kids do (and make us do) to keep our sanity. My 13 twin boys wear the same hoodies day in and day out. It’s a phase.. it will end, eventually. I have more of a problem when they wear their nicer jeans out to play in the mud and then look at me dumbfounded when I want them to change out of their “Holy” jeans to serve Mass.

    Anon poster…you are more than welcome to spew your filth someplace else. If you don’t like what is on TV do you change the channel or do you call and swear at your cable carrier? If you don’t care for what you read, find something else that suits your interest, but don’t insult the reader beacuse you don’t care for the blog’s content.

    I don’t burn Agatha Christie novels because I don’t like mysteries…

  64. Kids don’t only say the darndest things, they wear them as well. You’d think that the kids were young enough to “bend to mums (peer) pressure”, but no. Their strong willed and hard headed and wn’t back down. It’s their way or no way. All a parent can do is dream of when the kids were so young that they really didn’t have a choice. Mum was the boss….

    I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one dreaming, wishing and almost praying for winter to be truly over and spring and summer to make it’s grand entrance.

  65. I remember once hearing my husband saying to my daughter at about 6 yrs old. “You aren’t wearing that to school are you?” As I came around the corner and saw her wearing a tye-dyed dress with jeans underneath and crazy sneakers looking like a jumbled bunch of color I just said….”You look beautiful”. Who cares if it wasn’t matching. That’s what she picked out and who am I to say that wasn’t the style at school.

  66. It’s exactly the same with my boys! Especially the 10-year-old. He would prefer to wear the exact same warm up pants and Under Armour shirt EVERY DAY. His only concern with apparel is speed, not style. Apparently snazzy looking jeans and stylish shirts slow a person down.

    • That’s hilarious. I get the same thing, particularly with shoes. Trying them on always involves a test sprint through the store to make sure they have adequate speed.

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