Back Off

Here’s what I don’t get. Every Sunday morning, half of the cars in my church’s parking lot are parked facing forward. People go to ridiculous lengths to back into a spot. Cutting people behind them off, executing 40-point turnabouts to maneuver an oversized SUV into a spot, and backing up a few inches at a time so as not to take out a curb or lightpost. All of this is inevitably done while I sit and wait for these geniuses to get it just right.

Where the hell are these people going after Mass? How is taking an extra five minutes on the front end to park saving you any time in the long run? Is that extra 20 seconds you save by getting to pull out of your space front first going to snag you a table at The Original Pancake House that you wouldn’t have gotten before? It’s not an NFL Monday Night Football game, you’re going to be able to get out of your space, even if you have to do it going rear first.

In my humble opinion, the only people who need to take the trouble to back into a parking space are those who drive emergency vehicles, like ambulances, fire engines, police cars, or the Batmobile.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011

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