Today was the first day of summer vacation I’ve been home with the kids. I think I’m ready for them to go back to school. And they were only here for half of the day because they’re attending Faith Formation at church in the mornings. What in THE HELL am I going to do with them for the rest of the summer? If it’s a nice day and they’re out with their friends, it’s tolerable. But today was chilly, and I guess no one was around, and insulting Cameron was David’s chosen activity.
Here are a few ideas.
- Put a lock on the refrigerator door. And on all kitchen cupboards. No matter how many times I tell them that they aren’t allowed to eat anything before running it by me, a whole box of granola bars seems to disappear as soon as I’m not within earshot of the kitchen.
- Deep cleaning. One room per week. Ever heard of Mr. Clean? Well, you’re his bitches now.
- Reading list. I want quiet. Every time there’s a rainy day I’m not listening to the TV blaring Spongebob Squarepants and Victorious reruns that I’ve seen a million times. Suggestions welcome.
- Photo shoots. I have a tripod now. And an external flash. And an extra lens. And thinking about getting some light reflectors. Dude, that shit gets heavy. Someone needs to haul it all around for me.
- Cooking lessons. If they’re going to eat me out of house and home, they should at least be able to cook a meal for me. Hopefully someday a nice girl will appreciate it.
- Laundry. Ok, Beyoncé, you need five wardrobe changes during the course of a day? Well then you’re in for a treat. Like smelly underwear? I hope so because 5 boys x 7 days x 1.5 per day = around 50 pairs per week. You’re lucky it’s flip-flop season, because socks are actually much worse.
Reveille is at 0700, maggots.
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011