Maybe I Should Have Asked For A Turkey Baster

Here’s a fun trick. See what kind of look you get from the lone pharmacist at Walgreens when you ask her, “Do you have, like, a really big syringe?”

Maybe I should have led with a different question, but I was in a hurry. The vet changed the dressing on Penny’s tail this morning. (For those of you who haven’t been playing the Home Game, the end of my dog’s tail was severed in a rather alarming accident. You can read the full details here if you’re so inclined.) They put a kind of plastic cuff over it before taping it to make it harder for her to chew on.

Unfortunately that, along with the head cone she’s wearing were not enough to deter her from gnawing the entire thing off tonight. So my mission at Walgreens was to procure stronger tape, waterproof tape, and a bandage that I could layer around her tail that would prevent her from getting at it, at least until I could talk to the vet in the morning.

The plastic was a good base to work from because then it would hurt her less and keep it cleaner. But I had nothing like that. And that’s what led me to ask for a syringe. Which they didn’t have. These diabetics these days, they use all this fancy schmancy stuff instead of needles, which stinks for the rest of us because there are no syringes when you need them. And I didn’t even need a real, honest-to-God syringe, just like a medicine dropper syringe, but by the time I thought to ask for that, the pharmacist started walking back to wherever it is pharmacists disappear to when they’re alarmed by their customers.

So I wandered down a few aisles. Pill sorter? Too small. Advil bottle? Too wide. Lint roller handle? Would need a hacksaw, too complicated. Baby bottle? Way too big, but we might be onto something. Small bottle of Listerine? Antiseptic, but not in a good way.

Eureka!

I’m not particularly inventive, and have zero mechanical or engineering aptitude so I’m always overly congratulatory of myself when I hit on a MacGyver-inspired idea.

A new tape job for Penny (or Lady Gaga, as Alex likes to call her).

Plastic toothbrush holders. I bought a 2-pack for $1.99, now I have four pieces to use as emergency back-up when she chews through the dressing. And I got out of the store before anyone called security. The toothbrush holder sheath worked perfectly, and I wrapped Penny’s tail back up. I have to say that I did a damn fine job. Two hours into it and it’s still intact.

It’s the little things in life, folks. Though I might have to start going to CVS now instead of Walgreens.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011

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One thought on “Maybe I Should Have Asked For A Turkey Baster

  1. Poor Penny. Most dogs I know hate that collar but they can’t get at it to chew on it, hence its popularity as a deterrent to chewing. I’ve never known a dog with a deterrent on their tail. Good thinking, SG. I hope your little dog heals up quickly.

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