Such A Sweet Surprise

Just saw someone post a status on Facebook that said, “I hope heaven isn’t too far away…” That sounded mysterious so I read a couple of comments, and it turns out that Jani Lane, the lead singer for 80’s hair band Warrant, was found dead in his LA hotel room this morning. You can read about it here if you’re interested.

I can’t say I’m especially affected by the news, other than it’s always sad when someone who is only 47 throws their life away with pills and alcohol. Like many teenagers in the 80’s I listened to Warrant, watched their videos on MTV, back when MTV actually played videos, but honestly, I didn’t even know the name of the lead singer.

Warrant did play a role in what became one of the funniest memories of my sister’s wedding. David was seven years-old at the time, going into second grade. He and two of his little brothers were ring bearers. Alex was a newborn, so he wasn’t walking down the aisle.

At the reception, wedding party members were introduced with their own “theme song,” compiled by Jared, my new brother-in-law. Ring bearers weren’t included. (Major point deduction in the ongoing battle for “favorite uncle” status between Jared and Chad.) David was rather put out, so Kim said she’d have the DJ dedicate a song to him. He requested We Will Rock You, by Queen.

A half hour went by, and still no dedication. Kim bugged him a few times, but nothing happened. David was getting more and more pouty, so finally my mom went over and told the DJ to dedicate the next song to “the ring bearer, David.”

For those of you not familiar with the Warrant catalog, along with Heaven Isn’t Too Far Away, one of their bigger hits was a song called Cherry Pie. The lyrics are about…well, draw your own conclusions. Spelling it out would be rather vulgar.

So the song of the moment fades out, everyone’s on the dance floor, we made sure David was nearby, and we hear, “This song goes out to the ring bearer, David, wherever he is!”

Cue song.

“She’s my cherry pie, cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise.                                  

Tastes so good, make a grown man cry. Sweet cherry pie.”

Um…yeah. Thankfully David had no clue, and was happy just to hear his name. That wasn’t the only bonehead thing that DJ did. I’m thinking he didn’t get a big tip.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011


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One thought on “Such A Sweet Surprise

  1. haha that’s funny but at least David got his own song. Thank god he was clueless. It’s kinda ironic the day before Jani Lane died I was listening to Great White telling the kids about all the great glam/hair bands of the 80’s and chastising my own mother for letting me go to a Great White concert at the age of my oldest(yes that’s 12 shees!!!) So when I read about Jani Lane dying I’ll admit it I was a little sad.

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