Thanks A Lot, Maria Elena And Santiago

My worst mistake of the week (or technically last week since it happened Saturday, though the fallout continues) is picking up someone’s leftover wedding favor while we were at a lovely pedestrian park Saturday evening. It was sitting there on a post, I picked it up, and gave it to Alex, who thought the plastic flowers and gold glitter were just beautiful.

Naturally Justin was mad that there wasn’t one for him too. Even though he has no interest in flowers, or glitter, or satiny ribbon. Eventually he found a penny, a fishing bobber and a giant mushroom, so I thought he was okay with how things ended up.

Not so much. For the last two days we’ve gone ten rounds over who is the rightful owner of the corsage. Justin and Alex keep stealing it back and forth from each other. Today Justin went a step further, he dismantled it, and kept one of the flowers for himself. Alex responded with a scissor kick to Justin’s head while we were sitting on the couch. Justin immediately retaliated with a backhand chop to Alex’s head, which I blocked, Bruce Lee style, with my left forearm.

This is what all the fuss was about.

I managed to reassemble it, but it wasn’t the same, especially since Justin had chewed chunks out of some of the plastic flowers out of spite. Pretty soon Penny stole it when they weren’t looking. I really didn’t make an effort to get it back from her, and it ended up mostly in pieces on the floor, and thrown in the garbage and/or Dirt Deviled up.

Problem solved.

Maria Elena and Santiago, I wish you all the best, but your guests were litterbugs who made my life more complicated than it already is. Like I need that. You just wait. In a few years when you’re strolling along with Santiago Jr. and Elena, I’m going to give Elena a brand new crisp dollar bill and nothing to Santiago. Have fun with that.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011


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