- Logging into websites. When news outlets, blogs, shopping or other sites ask me to create a free account just to access their content, I say they can suck it. Because right now, I have approximately 15 trillion login/user ids and passwords. Facebook, 2 Yahoo Mail accounts, David & Cameron’s Yahoo Mail accounts, Gmail, Shutterfly, Kodak Gallery, Corbis, 3 investment websites (plus Barry’s), WordPress, 500px, an Olympus user forum, School District 112 parent portal, 2 banks, GEICO, AT&T, DirecTV, UnitedHealthcare, Google+, Twitter, iTunes, Apple, LinkedIn, several digital design websites, Groupon, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Pizza Hut, CareerBuilder, Monster, Indeed, Target, every place I’ve applied to for jobs, State of Minnesota, Geocaching, TripIt, Expedia, Marriott, Delta, Hertz, Medscape, Best Buy, Chanhassen Rec Center, Netflix, Redbox, Examiner.com, StarTribune, Chaska/Chanhassen Football Association, Chanhassen Athletic Association, St. Hubert’s enrollment, PayPal, Adorama, Life Science Alley, CenturyLink, Costco, American Express, Photoshop user forum, Home Again. It’s completely out of control. Who is going to resolve this? Can we, as a planet, come together and decide to not steal anyone else’s shit, and put a stop to this madness?
- Disclaimer notices. I know your lawyers put you up to this, but should I really need to read through ten pages of disclosure notices to activate an investment account or buy a song from iTunes? I electronically agreed to and signed more shit on Fidelity.com this morning than I did when buying my house. You’re giving me access to my own money, not nuclear launch codes.
- The United States Tennis Association. It’s the U.S. Open for chrissakes, get your shit together. They wanted to build the biggest tennis stadium in the world instead of a reasonably sized one with a roof, even though late August and early September are smack dab in the middle of hurricane season, and now have no way to accommodate matches when it rains. They bring the players on the court while it’s still rainy, then when they start sliding on the slick surface, bring them back off the court after they play a game or two. The scheduling is a mess because everything is done to accommodate television, yet the stations with the broadcasting contracts don’t seem to air it anyway. The USTA doesn’t seem to have the interests of the players or fans in mind, only money, money, money.
- Our hound dog. We love Penny, but had no idea how attuned beagles are to scent; tracking and rooting out things by scent, but also seeking objects that are most strongly affected with familiar scents. Every day we have to rescue what she’s secreted away to her lair (i.e. under the kitchen table). Her favorites include bras, pillows, hats, shoes, hair brushes, and Justin’s bear.
- Access to the Chanhassen Starbucks. Seriously, wtf? The building is raised by a few steps, but the only section in front of the sidewalk that has steps has parking spaces right in front of the steps. The rest of it is slanted down with irregular, cemented rocks. I can’t even explain it, but it’s fucked up. You can either fight your way in between the grilles of parked cars to use the steps, or walk over the rocks, and risk breaking an ankle on the boulder and pebble obstacle course.
- The school district transportation office. I realize they’re busy with calls about bus routes, but that’s why you should have them make sense when you publish them. A kindergartener’s stop cannot be two blocks from daycare where there is no sidewalk to get there, and it’s completely out of sight of the house. I shouldn’t have to wait until next week to get that resolved.
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011