The University Of Minnesota Can Suck It

Today I took Justin and Alex to the Bell Museum of Natural History at the University of Minnesota. It was a Sunday afternoon, the campus was quiet. I parked on University Avenue, across from the street where the museum was located. Other cars were parked there. The sign on the street said “No Parking Anytime – Except Sundays.”

Cool. I parked and we went in. It was shortly before 1:00. We spent an hour or so, then came back outside, and there on my window, waterlogged, stuck under my windshield wiper, was a parking ticket.

What the fuck? I looked at the sign again. Under where it said “Except Sundays,” the words 1AM to 1PM were obscured by some overhanging tree branches.

U of M parking Nazi BASTARDS! Were they just lying there in wait? $42.00 when I could easily have parked in the garage or anywhere else. I HATE university parking services. Worldwide. There’s an outside chance I still owe money to the Kansas State University parking services. Though they did give me my diploma, so maybe not. Because they’ll hold that hostage, along with your grades, your scholarship money, your student loans, and your car until you pay them what they want. Or so I’ve heard. They are all blood-sucking, money-hungry cocksuckers. They make up vague rules for restrictive parking areas, and turn unsuspecting students into their cash cow.

Cockroaches at the U of M Parking Services, I mean, Bell Museum of Natural History.

I’d fight the ticket, but it’s probably easier to get a favorable result on a death penalty appeal than it is to erase a parking ticket. I’ve honestly never known of anyone who’s gotten out of a parking ticket.

I want my three one-dollar bills back that I put into the Bell Museum’s donation box.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011

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