Mind The Gap

Tonight’s schedule.

5:00 – Go through Justin’s backpack, feed dog, stop Alex from running through the neighbor’s sprinkler fully clothed.
5:15 – Slice some apples. Tickle Justin.
5:30 – Tell Cameron for the fourth time to pick up his planner and folder off the floor and put them into his backpack.
5:35 – Wave to husband in passing on the driveway as he fixes the chain on Justin’s bike again.
5:40 – Drive Cameron to football practice at Chaska High School.
5:55 – “Make” dinner at Taco Bell drive-thru.
6:10 – Feed kids.
6:20 – Watch last five minutes of Seinfeld. It’s the John Cheever episode. “…time is what he’s indicating there.”
6:25 – Clean up.
6:30 – Watch first ten minutes of The Big Bang Theory. It’s the Halo night episode. Sheldon’s upset that he’s missing Doctor Who. I can relate.
6:40 – Attempt to take David to his football game. Alex wants to ride along. Must negotiate with Justin, who refuses to move his mini-car from behind the van unless Alex stays behind to play with him. It’s like Tiananmen Square. David shows signs of wanting to freak out. Alex decides to stay. Crisis averted.
7:15 – Drop David off at Clover Ridge Elementary School on the other side of Chaska.
7:30 – Pick up Cameron in the dark at Chaska High School.
7:40 – Arrive home. Justin and Alex are no longer outside, house is oddly quiet.
7:45 – Husband is ready to leave to go watch David’s game, has no idea where other two kids are. Thought I had taken them along with me.
7:50 – Kids located at neighbor’s house, they come home very excited that Jimmy, a ninth grader, had allowed them to join the big kids at his house skateboarding in the driveway, and that he gave them some crappy hard candy.
8:00 – Feed Cameron.
8:05 – Try to corner dog, who has stolen Cameron’s little container of nacho cheese because he left it unattended at the table so he could go to the bathroom.
8:15 – Allow kids to watch one TV show before bed. Hassle Cameron for not throwing away any of his dinner wrappers. Go to my room to do some photo editing.
8:25 – Justin comes over, says he’s tired and wants to go to bed. I’m all over that. Round up Alex to get their pajamas on.
8:30 – Justin reverses course. Wants to take a bath. I protest, but he wins. After a fight over bubble bath, and Alex demanding a “girl toy” to take in the tub with him, I let them soak, and return to my pictures.
8:45 – Justin is already out, climbs onto my bed naked and soaking wet, and announces that they are done.
9:00 – Pajamas are on. I’m ready for them to go to bed. Cameron is half asleep on the couch. First we must fight over a backpack. Specifically that Justin insists on taking Alex’s backpack away from him so that he can look at the gum stain on the strap. Tug-of-war ensues, Justin wins, looks at strap, is happy, returns backpack to Alex. Alex winds up and bashes him over the head with it.
9:10 – Justin insists on taking a toy skateboard ramp in bed with him, refuses to turn off the light until he’s assembled it. Starts to freak out because he can’t find the Hot Wheels police car he brought up there with him.
9:15 – Penny steals Alex’s toy rainforest frog.
9:20 – Alex wants to read a book. He picks out a Christmas word book for one year-olds. He and Justin insist I’m not reading it “right,” and manage to argue about it.
9:30 – Lights are finally out. Justin declares that he forgot to have dessert. I threaten him and tell him if he dares get out of bed he’s in serious trouble. He bluffs, but stays there.
9:35 – Alex starts aggressively petting the dog, who has settled into bed with us. I threaten to leave if he doesn’t knock it off.
9:40 – I start writing this blog post from my phone while lying in bed with Alex.
9:50 – Everyone sleeping. I realize that Cameron’s school fund-raising crap is due tomorrow. Spend five minutes searching the house for a functioning ball-point pen.
10:00 – Barry and David get home.
10:10 – Start to rework blog post. Can’t find the draft I saved from my phone. Annoyed that I have to cut and paste into an e-mail and then paste into WordPress, but at least it was saved. Have to look up how to spell Tiananmen. Didn’t realize there was an “n” in the middle of the word. Spend a minute or two thinking about the drink that my underage brother invented called a Tiananmen Square when he didn’t have to proper ingredients to make a Bloody Mary and used teriyaki sauce as a substitute.
10:25 – Continuing to write. Barry comes in every five minutes with a breakdown of the baseball play-offs. He seems disappointed that I just am not as interested in every single detail. I kind of am too. What’s happened to me?

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011


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