Birthday Number Ones

My birthday is awesome. It’s May 12, the middle of spring, nearing the end of the school year, baseball season kicking into gear, mild weather. I think everyone should celebrate it.

Wait, I'm confused. "Dawn" was *two* people?

In that spirit, I give you the number-one singles from the Billboard Hot 100 for every birthday I’ve had. Some are spectacularly awful, which is also awesome. And they’re bad on completely different levels. Like you can even compare the cheese of Reunited to something that has end-of-civilization-because-we-collectively-chose-this-to-receive-the-most-airplay overtones like Jump. And also I can’t stand that cue ball, Sinéad O’Connor. Nothing compares indeed.

Gotta love Joy to the World, Call Me, Beat It, and Like a Prayer, though.

1971 – Joy to the World, Three Dog Night
1972 – The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
1973 – Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree, Dawn featuring Tony Orlando
1974 – The Loco-Motion, Grand Funk
1975 – He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You), Tony Orlando and Dawn
1976 – Welcome Back, John Sebastian
1977 – Hotel California, Eagles
1978 – Night Fever, Bee Gees
1979 – Reunited, Peaches and Herb
1980 – Call Me, Blondie
1981 – Morning Train (Nine to Five), Sheena Easton
1982 – Chariots of Fire, Vangelis
1983 – Beat It, Michael Jackson
1984 – Hello, Lionel Richie
1985 – Crazy for You, Madonna
1986 – West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys
1987 – (I Just) Died in Your Arms, Cutting Crew
1988 – Wishing Well, Terence Trent D’Arby
1989 – Like a Prayer, Madonna
1990 – Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinéad O’Connor
1991 – Joyride, Roxette
1992 – Jump, Kris Kross
1993 – Freak Me, Silk
1994 – The Sign, Ace of Base
1995 – This Is How We Do It, Montell Jordan
1996 – Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey
1997 – Hypnotize, The Notorious B.I.G.
1998 – Too Close, Next
1999 – Livin’ la Vida Loca, Ricky Martin
2000 – Maria Maria, Santana featuring The Product G&B
2001 – All for You, Janet Jackson
2002 – Foolish, Ashanti
2003 – Get Busy, Sean Paul
2004 – Yeah!, Usher featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris
2005 – Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani
2006 – Bad Day, Daniel Powter
2007 – Makes Me Wonder, Maroon 5
2008 – Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis
2009 – Boom Boom Pow, The Black Eyed Peas
2010 – Nothin’ on You, B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars
2011 – E.T., Katy Perry featuring Kanye West

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011


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