The Bare Necessities

I was in line at Target today, and the guy ahead of me had two items. Shaving cream and a toilet brush. Obviously a man on a mission. I looked at him in awe. What must it be like to have such singular focus? Here’s the difference between a man’s shopping trip and a woman’s shopping trip. I’m generalizing here, but the reason men can go into a store and come out with only what they went in for is because they have the luxury of worrying only about themselves.

A member of the male species goes to a store for shaving cream and a toilet brush, and purchases the following items:

  • Shaving cream.
  • Toilet brush.

 

 

If I were to go in for shaving cream and a toilet brush, I would exit the store with:

  • A Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer notebook from the $1 section because I got one for Cameron two days ago and Justin’s been trying to steal it ever since, resulting in an endless battle between the two of them. Also one for Alex too so he’s not left out.
  • Lip balm in four different novelty flavors: Mountain Dew, Jolly Rancher Watermelon, Nerds and Blueberry Push Pop. Because the kids’ mouths are starting to look like The Joker, and because St. Nicholas Day is next week, and they are perfect useful and necessary, yet fun, stocking stuffers.
  • Black socks so David doesn’t show up at his band concert looking like Cliff Clavin wearing white socks and black pants.
  • Two-pack of gray $1 knit gloves so Cameron doesn’t have to wear one cream-colored glove and one blue glove with a yellow soccer ball on it to school anymore.
  • Spongebob toothpaste because Justin and Alex are out.
  • Shaving cream.
  • Biggest bottle of Aleve I can find.
  • Children’s Ibuprofen because we are down to the last few chewable tablets, and Cameron mentioned he was starting to get a headache and sore throat.
  • Frozen chicken strips and apples so the kids have something for dinner while Barry and I eat leftover Chinese.
  • Spaghetti sauce and bread sticks for dinner tomorrow night.
  • Peanut butter. Used the last of it yesterday.
  • Milk. We always need milk.
  • 12-pack of caffeine-free diet Coke because husband is down to his last two cans.
  • Ritter Sport chocolate for my secret stash.
  • Toilet brush.
  • Scotch tape to replace the roll that Justin used up trying to tape his stick back together last night.
  • AA batteries for the TV remote that has been taking five clicks to change one channel.

And those are just the necessities.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2011

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8 thoughts on “The Bare Necessities

  1. Pingback: Super Marketing | Sunflower Girl

  2. I’m always doing that- going for one thing and coming home having bought a load of other things! I often do it with presents. I go out looking for a present for one friend but when I get back to the house I have half a dozen presents for other friends and even something for myself!

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