Appetite For Destruction

I popped in at the local coffee shop tonight to catch up on some things, and because I needed to get out of the house before anyone else crawled on me, demanded something of me, or threw something at me. Immediately before I left, Justin and Alex got into a fight over a stupid M&M action figure that was Justin’s, but had been buried in the bottom of a toy box for months until Alex unearthed it, and started to play with it, sparking an intense debate over the M&M’s rightful owner. King Solomon I am not, and I stayed neutral as Justin wrestled it away from Alex, who then tried to stomp on my laptop, and started hurling other little toys at me after I pushed him away.

So that was the scene as I left. I fully expected to come back to a full-fledged zoo. I picked up David and his friends from a movie, and dropped them off at a sleepover. I came in the door, and Alex came running to greet me.

Alex: “Hi Mommy!”
Me: “Hi guys!”
Barry: “You mean ‘guy.’ This one never sleeps.”
Me: “Where’s Justin?”
Barry: “Sleeping. Cameron’s still at the hockey game. Alex refuses to sleep.”
Alex (cheerful as ever): “I can’t sleep, Mom!”
Barry: “I sang to him, we read books. Nothing.”
Alex: “Daddy sang me three lullabies, and I still wasn’t sleeping!”
Barry: “Yep. Three lullabies.”
Alex: “He even tried to appetize me, but it didn’t work because he didn’t have a clock.”
Barry: “Yep, even tried to ‘appetize’ him, ‘alphabetize’ him. Nothing worked.”
Alex: “Mom, do you have a clock? Maybe you can appetize me.”
Me: “I have a watch. Will that work?”
Alex: “Maybe.”

How is it that one minute I’m ready to sell him on Craig’s List after ducking projectiles being thrown at my head, and then he’s so damned cute I just want to eat him up? I guess that’s what earns him his keep.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2012 

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