Back To Normal

Highlights from today. You knew the peace wouldn’t last.

  • Alex wanted bagel pizzas for breakfast this morning. Honey badger didn’t give a shit, and let him have them.
  • The kids found one of those plastic back massagers emblazoned with the logo of my old company that I must have picked up on some sales junket. I made the mistake of showing Justin how it worked, and he liked it so much, he wanted me to continue forever. When I finally had to stop, he picked the thing up, threw it at me, and smacked me right on the lip. I maturely screamed, picked it up, and threw it back at him, hitting him in the back as he ran away.
  • Justin, Alex, and I went downtown so I could scout out some locations for photo shoots. We drove around the Warehouse District for a while, then went to the IDS Tower when they both wanted to go inside somewhere. As we were walking back to the car, Alex decided he wasn’t ready to leave. He refused to get in the car, and whined around about wanting to go back as all of the exiled smokers hanging around the outside of buildings on Marquette Avenue looked on. Then he loudly said to them, “I’m giving you people a dirty look because I don’t like you. Dummies!”
  • Justin ate all of Alex’s Mike and Ikes. Alex was cool with it. Yeah, also Adolf Hitler and Ted Bundy formed a pairs team for the ice capades in Hell.
  • The vacuum cleaner got f***ed up. My husband handled it very rationally, with utmost calm, and didn’t once think of blaming me for it. Yeah, I also hear Stalin is kicking ass in the Enron Biggest Snowman in Hell Extravaganza.
  • I watched about the first 20 minutes of The Godfather. While everyone was fighting, vacuuming, on the phone, running around, and being otherwise disruptive. Naturally the only time Justin and Alex settled down was when they ran into the room just as Luca Brasi gets garroted by the Tattaglia family.
  • Alex covered his lips, cheeks, and arms in lipstick.
  • Justin and Alex teased Cameron by calling him “Cinderella” all night.
  • David has been reunited with his phone and iPod, so I didn’t see him except for a few minutes at dinner, and when I heard him yelling at Barry for not going upstairs to get him a pillow. Our only real form of communication was when I sent him a Facebook message telling him that he’s grounded after school tomorrow for his obnoxious little outburst.

There’s more, but it’s probably already been repressed. One day, when my nine different personalities, formed from everything I’ve stored away to protect myself psychologically, manifest themselves, I’m sure more details will come out. I hope at least they’ll have more fun than I do. Looking forward to it.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2012


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