If I see another article in the news media about some celebrity’s freakish child-rearing techniques, I’m going to throw up. If it’s a story like the one I saw today, I mean that quite literally.
Who the hell cares? Why do we need to know this information anyway?
We’ve become so focused as a society on children it’s ridiculous. Kids already think the world revolves around them. But it’s become an obsession. Of course parents want to protect their children, and want what’s best for them. I’m not advocating anything less. But when you start to get into the “my child can only eat organic,” and “if I don’t read Tolstoy to my two-month-old every day his mind will turn to mush,” and “I refuse to vaccinate my child because it might be harmful, never mind all the other children I’m putting at risk,” and “all playgrounds must conform to these billion and one safety regulations or I’ll sue,” then I want to start smacking people around. News flash. The world doesn’t revolve around your kid. Might as well get them used to the idea now.
Check out some of this nonsense.
Yes, Mayim, they do. It’s called temper tantrums. I’ve yet to know a very small person who has a problem making her voice heard. Show me a healthy toddler who cannot express what he wants in no uncertain terms. And if the voice says to keep breast-feeding until the age of five, I think it’s time for an overrule. Creepy.
Key quote. “…we’re the only mammals who don’t ingest our own placentas.” Yes, and we’re also the only mammals who don’t eat our own shit. That doesn’t make it a good idea. It’s called being evolved, and not a Neanderthal. Gross.
At first I thought, wow, it’s kind of dangerous to feed a bear from your own mouth, but then I realized that’s the poor kid’s name. I’m sure his therapist is already on speed dial for that alone. This is the story that almost caused me to lose my lunch. Yum, regurgitated miso soup. Hey Alicia, even robins stop vomiting into their babies’ mouths once they can feed themselves. An 11-month-old can feed himself. Disgusting.
And don’t even get me started about Snooki, the Octomom, the Duggars, 16 and Pregnant, Blue Ivy, the Jolie-Pitts, and all the other celebrity tabloid baby news. People have babies every day, all over the world. Stop acting as if these circus freaks are more important than anyone else who has gone through a pregnancy.
And now we have this. Lunch. Lost.
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2012