Things I’ve learned over the course of a so far very trying holiday weekend with my children.
- It is remarkably easy to go through four bags of chips in two days.
- It is possible to get into a heated argument about who has and has not been to Mankato.
- Ditto Florida.
- A threat of “I’ll just pee on the floor then” should be taken seriously.
- Selecting one child instead of another to show someone a picture on your phone will lead to fisticuffs.
- Chopping up freeze pops and eating them from a bowl with a spoon is grand fun.*
- Just because you don’t want to eat your macaroni and cheese right now doesn’t mean that the dog feels the same way.
- Any time there are more than two proprietors of a lemonade stand, you really need a business plan and a good accountant.
- Yelling “Stay IN or OUT!” every time the door opens does nothing to deter kids from going in and out of the house a thousand times.
- I might be warming up to the idea of year-round school.
*This may be the junior version of the Seinfeld episode where everyone is eating their candy bars with a fork and knife. Someone get me Larry David.
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2012