My kids occasionally watch Full House on Nickelodeon. I can’t say I ever watched much of that sit-com (the one that gave rise to the Olsen twins) when it was on in the early 90’s, so I really had no idea the depth of its cheesiness. Which is interesting, because Bob Saget is one of the bluer comedians out there when he’s in the wild. Hope he cashed some really big paychecks from that, because he sold out on a grand scale.
My tastes have always leaned more towards groundbreaking material like Cheers and Seinfeld, the first two shows that didn’t require the audience to learn a “lesson” at the end of every episode. So refreshing. Anyway, the morals of the story and the lessons on Full House come at you fast and furious. In the snippets I hear in between doing whatever around the house, I can always tell when an important plot point is developing because of the dramatic and slow piano chords that play as Uncle Jesse looks off into the distance, gravely considering the consequences of buying the wrong kind of peanut butter.
Of course whatever crisis they face gets wrapped up into a neat little bow at the end of 22 minutes, and life can go on again as normal in the Tanner household. But my ears kind of perked up the other night as I sat reading my book while it was on. The drama started when Michelle, the saccharinely sweet three-year-old, apparently had some issues at pre-school. She didn’t want to go back because the kids were mean to her on her first day. Of course Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse were ready to go in and kick some little pre-school ass in her defense until cooler heads prevailed, and they decided that it would be too heartbreaking to make her go back and face the kids who were mean to her. But her Dad, Danny, being ever rational, made her get back up on the proverbial horse, and takes her to pre-school to face her fears. And to make it easier, they go armed with a guinea pig, which Danny bought for her to donate as the class pet. So he went in to talk to Michelle’s classmates first, and Michelle came in with the guinea pig, and her teacher told her new friends to thank her for the generous gift, and all of the kids thank her, and are nice to her, and ask her to read together on the “sharing mat” or whatever the hell thing she was ostracized from the day before. All is happy, there is much rejoicing. Roll credits.
So, I did miss the first half of the episode, but unless there was some major story arc I wasn’t aware of, the message I got out of that, condensed into a nutshell is: If someone doesn’t like you, buy their affection.
I think maybe I like the life lessons on Spongebob better.
© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2013