Vacation? Muah-hah-hah. Not Bloody Likely.

My husband took this week off. He thinks this will be a vacation. He’s in for a rude awakening. Because as soon as he’s done with his morning workout, I am outta here. And he can deal with things like this, things that really can’t be articulated when he wonders why I’m so frustrated by the end of the day.

Alex: “Justin, what’s your favorite movie?”
Justin: “I’m not telling.”
Alex: “Because you don’t have one?”
Justin: “You don’t have one either.”
Alex: “Yes I do. The Wizard of Oz.”
Justin: “That’s your favorite?”
Alex: “Yeah. The Wizard of Oz and Brave.”
Justin: “Brave?”
Alex: “Yeah.”
Justin: “Why do you like Brave? I don’t like it anymore.”
Alex: “Because it’s about a kingdom.”
Justin: “But, what do you like about it?”
Alex: “I said. Because it’s about a kingdom.”
Justin: “It’s not your favorite movie.”
Alex: “I have two favorite movies, Brave and The Wizard of Oz.
Justin: “That’s stupid. You don’t even watch Brave.”
Alex: “I don’t watch it anymore.”
Justin: “It’s the worst Pixar movie.”
Alex: “I know.”
Justin: “You still watch it.”
Alex: “No I don’t.”
Justin: “Yes you do.”
Alex: “NO I DON’T!”
Justin: “Yes you do. You said.”
Alex: “NO I DON’T!!! Mom! Moooo-ooom! “MOOOOOMMMMM!!!”
Me: “Alex, it’s ok if you watch Brave.”
Alex: “I DON’T watch it!”
Justin: “Yes you do.”
Justin: “You watch it because I go outside and you don’t even go outside.”
Alex: “Yes I do.”
Justin: “No. I go outside the most. You stay inside and eat taquitos.”
Alex: “No I don’t. I do for lunch.”
Justin: “No, for breakfast.”
Alex: “NO I DON’T!!!”
Justin: “Yes you do.”
Alex: “I do NOT!! MOM! MOOOOMMMM!!!
Me: “What???”
Alex: “Justin’s being really mean to me.”
Me: “No he’s not. Just ignore him.”
Alex: “Yes he IS! Tell him!!!”
Me: “Justin, leave Alex alone.”
(Justin has moved on, knocking on the bathroom door while Cameron is in there.)
Cameron: “JUSTIN! STOP!!!!”
(Justin continues.)
(More knocking.)
Me: “Justin, knock it off. Now.”
Barry: “What’s going on up there? Cameron, so help me…”
Cameron: “I didn’t even DO ANYTHING!”

Repeat this about 20 more times, for possibly even stupider arguments, and that is my day. Every day. The entire summer. Happy vacation!

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2013


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