Today’s Menu

Me: “Good morning, sir. What will you be whining about today?”
Justin: “I haven’t decided. What would you recommend?”
Me: “Today we have a wonderful selection of items you won’t want for breakfast, also a list of YouTube Bible videos that won’t interest you because there is only one story about Adam and Eve. If you’re looking for something exotic and new, we have a succulent paper fortune teller that you won’t be able to make, which comes with a side of verbal abuse. And as always, we have our house favorites of sock seams and missing toys.”
Alex: “I will whine about not being able to find a satisfactory Adam and Eve video.”
Me: “Excellent choice, sir. The portions are quite large enough that you will have leftovers for later in the day.”
Justin: “Can I add freaking out over not being able to find an appropriate piece of paper to the fortune teller special?”
Me: “Yes, but that is extra and comes with waking up your older brother.”
Justin: “That’s fine.”
Me: “Just to be sure, waking your older brother is prepared with habañero and extreme exaggeration, so if your palate isn’t accustomed to David telling you that you are never satisfied with anything, and that you will end up getting fired from your job and living in a cardboard box, I would choose something milder.”
Justin: “No, that’s fine, the spicier the better.”
Me: “Great, I’ll be back in a little bit so you can drive me insane and make me wish it were bedtime.”
Alex: “Thank you.”
Justin: “Thanks.”

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2013


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