Argument Starters

Do you ever find yourself looking for an argument, but you just don’t know how to go about getting one started? Well look no further, because for a limited time, I’ll provide you with ten FREE statements guaranteed to engage and enrage someone close to you. When my sons use these tried and true words, the fireworks begin. These opening salvos are what you need right now to start a meaningful and heated debate with the potential to escalate violently. And if you ACT NOW, I’ll provide you five MORE at absolutely NO COST. That’s right, a total of 15 bona fide pointless and incendiary comments to aggravate someone for no reason other than to provoke a never-ending dialogue that will result in no winner, only heartache.

  1. “Those are really stupid socks.”
  2. “Let’s snuggle with the dog. I get her head.”
  3. “You’ve never hit a triple.”
  4. “I was sitting there!”
  5. “I had it first.”
  6. “A second grader can beat you up.”
  7. “Popcorn smells way better than brownies.”
  8. “You can’t read my mind.”
  9. “You haven’t even seen Step Brothers.”
  10. “I would be a so much better pilot than you.”
  11. “Penny loves me the most.”
  12. “My injuries have been worse than yours.”
  13. “At least I have friends.”
  14. “This show is terrible.”
  15. “Go away.”

BONUS BONUS BONUS!!!
“A bank and an ATM aren’t the same thing.”
“In the NBA All-Star game you have bench players.”
“You had the Kindle charger.”
“You’re cheating.”
“Mom, he said a swear word.”

DISCLAIMER: The writer assumes no responsibility for damage, intentional or otherwise resulting from the usage of the aforementioned verbiage. Effectiveness is not guaranteed, especially on individuals who are mature, rational, and operate with a sense of reason and empathy for others. The user takes full responsibility for consequences that ensue from usage of this material.

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2014

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