Bored Games

After ringing in the new year maybe a little too festively last night, I had the pleasure of spending a blustery New Year’s Day cozied up in the bosom of my family.

In the tradition of many American families who spend the day playing cards, board games, dominoes or doing puzzles, we entertained ourselves in the same fashion. Maybe you’ve participated in some of these activities as well?

That’s MY Seat! An intense game of mental concentration to see who can most effectively tune out a child who gets up late for breakfast, sees his brother sitting in “his” place at the table, and launches into a whining, complaining, crying tirade when he won’t give up the spot. Winner gets to eat his or her next meal with another family.

Explode Mom’s Head Find a toy piano or any other equally obnoxious electronic item, play it. Play it some more. Play it loud. Play it while the TV is on full-blast and all your brothers are arguing. Ignore your mother, who is nursing a headache, who tells you repeatedly to turn it off or take it to your room. Keep playing. Turn it down for a few minutes to appease your mother. But keep playing it. Object of the game is to play it off and on all day, in random spurts until your mother snaps and breaks it over her knee à la Bo Jackson’s baseball bat.

Place Your Bets Make a bet with your brother on the outcome of a sporting event. For example, the Denver/Kansas City game. Take the Broncos side. Then when the Chiefs hold on to their sad little lead, say that you never meant to say that the Broncos would come back. You win the game if you can successfully convince your opponent that you really meant all along that the Chiefs would win.

Keep Away Make sure yours is the last cup of Cherry 7Up. Freeze it and take it out when your brothers are watching you. Now it’s a luxury in high demand because it’s the only thing of its kind. Offer to share licks with two of your three brothers. Ostracize one of them based on no specific reason, other than a suggestion that he has “germs.” Enjoy the trauma and hurt feelings that come with picking on the weakest member of the group.

Eat Something That Isn’t Yours Find something that one of your brothers has saved. Bonus points if it’s non-replaceable. A plate of chips and cheese dip. The last two pieces of bubble gum. A half-eaten muffin. A little bag of M&Ms. Consume it. Or feed it to the dog. If you get away with it without your sibling screaming, crying and hitting you because of the great injustice you’ve inflicted on him, you’re the winner!

© Jennifer Alys Windholz, 2012